two nights before take-off

All my bags are still unpacked, and I’m not yet ready to go.

Going home by plane is not something to be excited about but that idea leads me to think of being “uprooted”. I am enthralled by the idea of being liberated from the bondage of the soil, from being stuck to a place.

I have always wondered why jumping gives a natural high, and why high altitude is oftentimes associated to happiness; and why some even dream of being able to fly . During the recent PAP conference, I jumped on a trampoline with some friends (pare, di yun tarpaulin ha. hehe) and it somehow allayed a very heavy feeling. (Given that, is it then more fun to be a bird??? Haha!) Perhaps, this is because of a natural longing to go against what binds us to the ground. Hah! Gravity! That principle has a way of making the soil claim the truth, enslaving us all.

By that it’s just nice to think that I shall glide to a place by being free from a place. And though it’ll end and it’s bound to bring me elsewhere; it is a chance to be free – not in the sense of being unrestricted but by being relieved from the worries of purposes and ends. For that hour, I’ll claim my jouissance – I’ll prove that gravity cannot have a greedy and exclusive claim of telos.

That for some time, one could just be happy, even without being able to explain why. Sometimes, seeking for an explanation is a burden (especially if it is not that necessary).

For that hour, there’ll be supremacy of space over soil. For that hour, truth will be happily nomadic.

And on a more intimate note; perhaps, at that little moment, I’ll be miles closer to God. Perhaps – just perhaps, my prayers shall be heard more. Or perhaps, it’ll be a chance for me to hear Him better.